Everything Happens for a Reason

     The night I fell we found a laundromat to wash my bloody, dirty clothes. The owner was a nice young man who had been born in the states. We talked about my fall and I was expressing my frustration with myself for doing it and he said, "everything happens for a reason." I've thought a lot about it. There is a saying on the camino that the camino gives you everything you need, not more and not less. 

     I've thought a lot about those sayings because with our Mormon faith we believe that we have agency and are free to choose for ourselves. And yet life is constantly handing us situations we don't choose...wouldn't choose. A year ago when my grandson was taken so suddenly, I was out on the road within a few minutes watching people work on him, watching my daughter's intense grief, watching my husband do an amazing job trying to help her. I didn't feel one ounce of control over any aspect of life. I felt like nothing whatsoever is in our hands. Life just comes and goes in a flash and we don't have a say. 

     But (if like we profess) our works are so incredibly important how do the two coincide??

     I don't have the answers. I have faith. I have hope. But at times very sparingly. Probably the most sparingly so is when I feel quite in control and that I am calling some shots. 

     I do know kindness matters. I know the people we love matter completely. I know we shouldn't intentionally hurt people. That's probably the extent of the shots we call...the extent of our agency. 

     Sorry to get so philosophical. But when your toes are hamburger and you're sporting a face like mine and walking through breath taking views and walking through pain...you just gotta getta thinking. 

     This is so completely worth it. 

We are above the clouds...